Vancouver Riot 2011 – Those who came forward voluntarily

So far, 15 rioters, instead of waiting to be reported or found, turned themselves in to police (http://vpdreleases.icontext.com/2011/06/20/riot-investigation-fact-sheet/). Whether they feel real remorse for their actions or merely regret being photographed, only they know. I can’t help but wonder whether they would have done so had there been no chance of discovery. Still, many have no previous record of wrongdoing and they want to apologize, explain, and in some cases atone.

Coming forward voluntarily to apologize is a start, even if some doing so are still in denial about the enormity of their offences or are only doing so in the hope of receiving a lesser punishment than if they had been hunted down.

Nevertheless, I think we should listen to them, regardless of their motives for coming forward. Not because of dew-eyed “everyone is a good person underneath” idealism or even compassion. Listening to what could make a normally exemplary young person behave like that is essential to understanding how to prevent this in the future. Which is the result I would like to see.

The listening should be conditional, though. Restorative justice is not the same as no justice. I believe we are entitled to let the rioters know the full extent of what they inflicted, as an emergency room nurse who was on duty that night at St. Paul’s Hospital did: http://riot2011frontlines.tumblr.com/post/6682186192/a-e-r-nurses-thoughts-on-an-instigators-apology.

And we are entitled to more than tearful apologies and sincere acknowledgements that they are responsible for their actions. The rioters owe us. They need to pay out of their own pockets for the damage and do community service. Lots of it. There should be restrictions on where they can go and when and with whom. They need to find ways to make amends and re-earn our trust.

There is far more value to us all in such a solution than in flushing these kids, their families, and their lives down the toilet out of angry revenge. Mahatma Gandhi was right when he said, “An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

We also need to back off from the friends and families. If these young people are to make the amends they owe us and contribute to the world in the future, they will need the support of the few people who love them enough to stick by them through this. Supporting them in taking responsibility is not the same as protecting them from having to take it. The ones who have come forward voluntarily have mostly done so with the support of people who love them. I see no reason to harass an already broken-hearted mom or dad. You never stop loving your child. No one should be punished for that.

Moralizing platitudes about today’s youth, our culture of privilege, and bad parenting are balm only to those who find more solace in being right than being happy. I am pragmatic. If we want meaningful healing and change to come out of this mess, then the answer is, as Ram Dass once said, “just say ‘know.’” And the only way we can know is to listen to the ones who are willing to talk.